My Baby is Gonna Be Two Next Week

... and while I haven't been much of a blogger this year, I've spent a lot of time being a dad. And I'm having a fairly typical stay at home parent problem. Which is that I long for adult company. But I can't exactly join a MOPS group, because the M stands for Mothers. I'm not 100% sure what goes on at these meetings, but I'm fairly certain a man would really wreck the group dynamic.

Since being a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD) seems so natural to me, I'm sometimes surprised when I lift my head up and realize that what I do is still pretty unusual in our society. I looked around today and couldn't find any dad's groups in my area. The most common advice for me in this area is "Start One", but starting social groups in not really in my personality type. Anyway, I'll dwell more on this later.

Yes, Katie will be two next week. It's absolutely amazing, as my memories of her clinging to my finger the day she was born are still fresh and vivid in my mind. She's quite a bit bigger, at 3'2" and 38 lbs., and she has consistently amazed me with what she picks up without being explicitly taught. She has a great sense of humor. She's using new words every day, and sometimes I don't even know where she heard the word or phrase. She has a very strong personality, and I have begun instituting time outs for things like climbing the up on the coffee table. But she is so easily self-entertained I wonder how effective they will be.

We are having a Little Einsteins theme for her party. She loves the music and the patting and clapping in that show. I let the TV thing get out of control though, so I am really dialing back on what and when she can watch. She has lots of fun at parks, so we are doing that more often. She likes the swing more the slide, and the dirt/sand/wood chips more than anything. And she still loves looking at books for hours. I am so excited to she what she does in this next year. Hopefully one thing will be sleep in.
And if you know of and SAHD groups in the IE, let me know.

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And now for a diaper change....

Brian
muse.platypionline.com

Cosmopolitan Man? Maybe more like Neapolitan Man...

So, I read other Stay at Home Dad (SAHD) blogs, and a chain of events lead me here
Admittedly I had never read Penelope Trunks blog before, so I can't comment on who she is as a person, but this particular post is praising a SAHD she's been corresponding with for his honesty as he relates the tale of his affair.
This guy's story seems disingenuous to me. For one, if you talk to a SAHD, it only takes a couple of moments before we start talking about the kids. Men are worse than women about this, because we tend to define ourselves by our jobs, and in this case, our job is the kids. (Yes, generalization here, but it's at least anecdotally accurate).
Now, I'm sure people out there have affairs, and that some stay at home men indulge in this behavior, but honestly, I don't even think about it. One, I love my wife and am completely satisfied and secure with her. Two, I left a job I really loved to stay with Katie, because she is so important to me. Why would I screw up not only my life and my wife's life, but also her life with something like that. I'm not self centered enough for that. (And I'm pretty self centered.)
But I guess, judging by Ms. Trunks post, I'm just not being honest. Actually, it makes me really angry. Women have been staying home since men started going off to work, and no one accuses them as a group of being weak willed philanderers. But apparently men cannot find enough worth in being house husbands to keep it in our pants. And, unless he admit that, Ms. trunks apparently thinks we are liars.
I'm proud of what I do as a dad. Katie is perpetually happy, which is my greatest life achievement. I find time for the gym more than ever. I'm a lousy house keeper, but I'm a really good cook. And, I keep up with my guitar, which also helps keep me happy.
I think the SAHD gig is a good one. Yeah, there are rough spots. I miss socializing with co-workers sometimes. But as far as self worth goes, there's plenty, and my daughter is amazing. I wouldn't trade it.

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And now for a diaper change....

Brian
muse.platypionline.com

The Entertainment Red Shift of the Stay At Home Parent

I had no idea just a few months ago what serious competition there was in the pre-school rock arena. The most exposed to this thing I had been previously was getting the Fraggle Rock theme stuck in my head (although to be honest, I watched Jabber Jaws and Josie and the Pussycats as a kid).I'd seen commercials for Kids Bop and stuff, but I really had no idea.

I thought I really disliked the Wiggles until I experienced the horror of The Doodlebops. Now the Wiggles don't seem so bad. I had barely heard of Yo Gabba Gabba (but then I'm more of a Playhouse Disney guy) and then I get start seeing Choo Choo Soul. The vintage gear guy in me likes Dan Zanes House Party, but I don't think emulating Keith Richards is the way to get me to let my kid watch you (and somebody get that man a comb). But I'll tell you what I do like. I like the band in Bunnytown, and I like the Happy Monster Band. And by like, I meant it doesn't make me want to claw my eyes out.

When I was first staying at home, I was watching my kind of TV. Law and Order, Battlestar, CSI... But as Katie gets older, if the thing is going to be on at all, I'd rather her stare at closer to age appropriate material. The thing is, as a parent, you watch this stuff, and it kinda sucks you in (because that's what it's DESIGNED to do) and next thing you know, you know all the words to "Hop Up, Jump In" from Handy Manny and the "Think, Think, Think!" song from Tigger and Pooh. And I say that I'm not going to get hooked on this junk, and then I go watch Happy Monster Band videos on You Tube. Between that and having had Laurie Berkner in the CD player of the Kia for, like, six months now, I wonder if I will ever have grown up entertainment in my life again.

If ever I needed a good Dr. Who marathon, surely it is now.

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And now for a diaper change....

Brian
muse.platypionline.com

Getting Things Done

We had a big adventure recently. We had to go pick up some prescriptions at Kaiser and then went shopping at a book store because Dad got a gift card for his birthday.
For the most part it went really well, but, I have a couple of complaints. Now I realize I live in the greatest time ever to be an American parent as far as convenience goes, still... Most of these complaints revolve around the car seat. I'm all in favor of rear facing car seats. Anything to keep my baby safe(er). And I love the convenience of the modular car seat/base/stroller system, but...

1) Getting a baby in and out of these seats is so complicated as to be stressful for parent and baby alike. At least mine is. 2 buckels and a clasp, not easily navigated around said baby, and a head rest pillow that moves around freely. A handle and hood that must be moved out of the way before this can even begin. And getting her back out again feels like I am folding her in half.

2) The stroller. Sure it folds up, but into what? Something too big to easily fit in the back seat or passenger seat. Or in the rather generous trunk of my Pontiac Grand Am. Not ever one can or will drive a suburban. Just 2 or 3 inches less of height and width would make this a perfect object. Designers, release the hounds.

3) For some reason I live in the desert. The government mandates that Katie must be facing the rear of the back seat for a long time to come. For some reason, the government does not madate that an Air Conditioning vent be placed in the back seat.
When it goes north of 100 degrees, I open at least 2 doors, start the car, fire up the A/C, and wait to hear the compressor kick in before I even START to put her in the car.

4) I know 3 or 4 resturaunts that have slings or bases for above said infant car seat. I love them. Not having them is almost a deal killer. Get with the program folks. It's a small investment for a happy customer.

5) The stroller wheels. They slide all over the place they are most likely to be, which is the linoleum floor of a store. This keeps the rotating wheels from rotating properly. A little more traction would be great.

No complaints about the girl? Yeah. She was quite at the pharmacy filled with screaming, unsupervised children, and got fussy in the quiet, peaceful bookstore.
Figures, don't it?

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And now for a diaper change....

Brian
muse.platypionline.com

Mr. Mom....

Actually I prefer Adam @ Home as a "stay at home dad" cultural reference, but it's less universal. I'm beginning my 3rd week on my own since my wife went back to work. I gotta tell ya, that June Cleaver is one intimidating woman. Personally, I gotta pick some priorities and let the rest fall to pieces.

Katie is pretty much sleeping through the night. This means she's pretty much awake all day. I tried really hard to not be naive and have false expectations, but I admit I thought I'd have a little more spare time. Between feeding and changing, I barely have time to clean up... which is a topic it's self. All my life I've been an unapologetic slob. And yet, now, I get really bothered by messes. Not bothered like my neat-freak wife, but bothered. So, today, she's unusually fussy and I'm not getting anything done. If this next bottle doesn't do it, she may have to cry through a quick vacuum. So, when am I supposed to do all this art I was going to work on? When she's six and goes to school?