Monday, March 05, 2007

They have classes for that?


I spent 6 hours of my last Saturday learning how to be a parent. Sort of.
I did a combo class at Kaiser Permenente of Breast feeding, Infant Care, and Delivery which included a tour of the delivery room and the semi private suite we get for a few hours.

Now, why do I need to learn about breast feeding? Well, it turns out there were lots of tips for how I can mimmic the procedure while bottle feeding to minimize the chance of confusion that the little girl will experience. I also feel much more confident after diapering and swaddling a teddy bear. Heck, now I can do anything!

And, I know my way around the maternity ward. Information I am sure to forget instantly as soon as she says something like "I think my water broke". I'll probably say something a lot like "She's having a baby! Where the hell do I go?" as soon as I enter. That's me, cool under fire. I'm thinking maybe I should call a cab rather than drive. Yeah, I'm that bad.

Anyway, next Saturday is Lamaze. Which I believe is either the French term for "Husband Torture" or Swahili for "I'm being set up". Either way, I've seen Bill Cosby: Himself, I know the score. I'll have my bottom lip pulled over my head before this is over.

That's enough for now,

Brian Norwood
muse.platypionline.com

Thursday, March 01, 2007

I see'd it.... I feel'd it...


I don't know if it fits the dictionary definition of interaction, but I've had new experiences with my daughter. I've felt her move quite a bit now, and I saw the quivering tummy of my wife as The Walnut frolicked through her uterus. It's the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. My wife's belly button has all but disappeared at this point, much to my amusement. I'm not sure how I feel about posting pictures of that, so I provided the approximation above. It's eerily similar.

That's enough for now,

Brian Norwood
muse.platypionline.com